New Year Resolutions

Spotted this on AsiaOne just now. This is the last and hardest of the 30 tips.

For as long as I could remember, I haven't made a new year resolution in years. I see it as some silly exercise. Also the most important objectives are multi-year ones and could last a lifetime too. But this year and led by happenstance I would make space for this one here because I often explain, but it is quite hard for the children to understand why it is so difficult to discover what one really want.

If you are humble you will have no problem discovering your purpose and what you want. So much of what we do is for others to think highly of us. Very important, nearly all of us must learn this the hard way and I cannot deny my children these hard lessons. Come on, even most adults missed this. Yet God in his amazing grace allow so many to realize almost too late their mistakes shortly before they die. It is really like the other condemned man who pleaded with Jesus to remember him while the three of them were on their crosses.

Here is the fuller version of Mother Teresa's quote:

“Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted and ardent. If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are. If you are blamed you will not be discouraged. If they call you a saint you will not put yourself on a pedestal.”

There is so much freedom and personal peace in humility. It was so valuable to her she worked at it when at the zenith of her fame nobody was willing to humble her. Here is the story I told my kids many times - Some lessons cannot be learned and so you can only help them remember with strategic repeats when the time comes and that's when they will learn.

Quoting from Leo Maasburg book:

On an overseas flight to Washington to visit the then U.S. president Ronald Reagan, one of the Sisters who was accompanying her noticed something odd: Mother Teresa went into the toilet at the front of the business-class section, first into the one on the right, then into the one on the left. Then she walked to the back of the plane to the other toilets. The Sister’s curiosity won out over her embarrassment and she asked Mother Teresa the reason for these repeated trips to the toilets. Her brief answer was, “Exorcism!” Mother Teresa had cleaned all the toilets, and it seems that it was precisely in cleaning the toilets that she found an antidote to any hint of pride. This would fit well with the maxim that she often repeated: “How do you learn humility? Only through humiliations!”

Maasburg, Leo (2011-10-11). Mother Teresa (Kindle Locations 2359-2365). Ignatius Press. Kindle Edition.

All these are too hard for me and definitely impossible as new year's resolutions. If I have any hope, I must keep is really simple and here it is in two bold words for yesterday, today and tomorrow:

FORGET YOURSELF

and these have done nothing for me but given me a lot of trouble. I thank God for them.

I think as in years past this year would not be the exception. Somehow, some time my ex boss and I would sometimes argue over this ego thingy again. I could not bring myself to explain why we need to wear it down but she believes a healthy ego is very important. To be practical she is right but it is also fatally wrong. We are all prodigals and we will be allowed the opportunities to leave home and learn the hard way. That's why grace is nothing if not amazing.

Therefore I decry Khong Hee and Lawrence Khong but not Joseph Prince. In the 21st century, we can't make grace cheap enough. Just wait for it to boomerang. It will but not as quick as in a year and it will also abide by an inscrutable personal time table.