Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The return of anxiety attacks.

The unwelcome anxiety episodes are back. It probably started two weeks ago and it happened once last week and this morning too. Teachers mistook it for inadequate breakfast but I always had my doubts and today I realized that my hunch was right.

We don't need Xanax. We already know how to deal with it. So many people have it worse. A reminder of the high price I have paid to get this right. It is like running your own little farm. There is limited control and you just have to stand by and be available at all times to do the necessary.

I don't see all these as problems. It is wrong and stupid to extrapolate, which is what many people do. I see it all the time when parents compare their kids. If one fails to recognize that what is in the soil is a seed, then the expectation is just decaying humus. We have a seed here, and if we take care of it, it will grow into a plant.

The way of the world is to achieve, but we are reminded that God does not ask us to be successful but faithful. In reality we do not know how to be faithful without aiming to be successful and that is why we need His grace. Where your faith is and it is growing over time, each of us will find the balance between struggling for success and focusing on being responsible. The shortfall is met by the Lord's grace. We will always underestimate the power of the Cross.

From an old hymn by Fanny Crosby,
"For I know whatever befall me, Jesus doeth all things well..."

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